Javon’s Speech to Inform Community Members About Multiple Perspectives on High School Football and Concussions Before They Engage in a Deliberative Discussion

Notice there is no purpose statement. Purpose statements are important for thinking and planning but are not part of the oral presentation itself.

I. Introduction

A. Brian Ramos’s injury

1. Parents blamed coaches.

2. Coaches blamed school districts.

3. Both blamed players.

4. Media, whole country blamed “football culture.”

Complete sentences are condensed. There is just enough for Javon to recall the thoughts he wants to convey. Not writing everything out word for word will encourage him to look up and connect with his audience, especially at the start of the speech.

B. Needed fewer concussions; feared football’s benefits misunderstood.

C. Member of the team and a friend. Looking at a problem from one angle is a poor way to make decisions.

The thesis, however, is written out because it’s important to get it right.

D. (Thesis) So the first thing we in Columbus need is a fuller understanding of the problem itself as well as multiple perspectives on concussions in high school football before we are ready to advocate and implement specific changes. With this goal in mind, the question that guides my speech this morning is, [SLOW DOWN] How can we best address the issue of concussions in high school football?

Javon added a delivery note here to remind himself to slow down so the audience will not miss his thesis statement.

E. Start by outlining problem. Then three solutions: first redirecting resources, second changing the culture of football, third more funding for medical expertise.

Notice that Javon put the different elements of his preview in bold so he can easily spot them during delivery. The bold print will help Javon see the parts of a longer point if he glances down at the notes partway through.

* (Transition) Begin by outlining the problem.

II. Concussions a real danger. Mild type of traumatic brain injury.

A. According to an October 29, 2024, report entitled “TBI Data” produced by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are more than 586 traumatic brain injury–related hospitalizations and 190 TBI-related deaths per day. Football is a contributor.

The keyword outline includes spoken citations, written out for accuracy. Javon underlines these citations as well to ensure he can easily find them while speaking extemporaneously. There is no need to include written in-text citations in a presentation outline, since you do not say those out-loud, and the presentation outline does not include a bibliography.

1. According to a study published in the 2021 edition of Sports Health, the sport most likely to see concussed male athletes is football.

Notice that the information cited can also be written out for accuracy. However, Javon refers to eight coauthors rather than naming every one of them.

2. A February 23, 2021, study published in Sports Health: A Multidisciplinary Approach by a group of eight coauthors found that kids aged six to fourteen years old who played tackle football experienced nearly fifteen times more head impacts during a game or practice compared to kids who played flag football. [PAUSE]

Javon includes a note to pause here to allow the prevalence of concussions to sink in for the audience before moving to his next subpoint.

B. Athletes with three or more concussions experience enduring negative impact. According to a 2023 report by Donna Lu and Stephanie Convery for The Guardian, a study found that:

1. Three concussions permanently affect ability to plan and to pay attention.

2. Four concussions negatively impact memory and processing speeds.

3. Dr. Matthew Lennon, the study’s lead author, clarified, “If you have multiple concussions in your teens, 20s, 30s and 40s, you will still be feeling the effects when you’re 70 or 80.”

The coordination and parallelism of the outline remain. If Javon loses his place within point B, subpoint 1, he can more easily locate subpoints 2 and 3 to find his way again.

C. Many head injuries in high school sports go unreported.

1. One reason: The culture of football. A widely cited and NFL-funded study published in 2014, titled Sports-Related Concussions in Youth, reports that athletes are reluctant to report concussions and even lax about following treatment plans when they have been diagnosed because it may not be perceived as “manly” to follow the doctor’s orders.

2. Second reason: Too few medical personnel available. According to a 2020 study of Massachusetts high schools that was published in Arthroscopy, Sports Medicine, and Rehabilitation by six coauthors, “55% of the high schools” studied didn’t “have a full-time athletic trainer and 50% did[n’t] have a team physician.”

* (Transition) [LOUDER] Now that I covered the problem of concussions, I will move to the first perspective.

Javon adds a reminder here to say the transition a bit more loudly so the audience will take note of the shift to solutions.

III. First solution: Redirect resources.

A. Argues that adults make tough decisions. “My son can play any sport but football.”

1. Sample action 1: Reallocate funds to sports students can play for a lifetime.

a. Outgrow football but live with lingering ailments.

b. Hiking, golf, and canoeing.

2. Sample action 2: Move volleyball to Friday nights.

3. Prioritizing value: Lifelong health.

B. Benefits:

1. Gain physical fitness and reduce concussions and pressure. Chase Ray explains in their 2018 article published in City Scene Magazine, “Non-contact sports…still provide all the same health benefits without encouraging physical collision between players.”

2. Invest in lifetime fitness. Schools refocused as educational institutions.

C. Drawbacks:

1. Lessons of football.

2. Important outlet for ritualized aggression. Jonathan Chait, in his 2014 column in New York Magazine, argues that football doesn’t feed or promote aggression; rather—and especially in high school—it may provide a suitable channel for kids to express aggression. Not the same in diving or golf.

* (Transition) [PAUSE] Having covered the first solution, I will move to the second solution.

IV. Second solution: Change in culture of football.

A. Argues we change the culture of toughness that dominates football. The Sports-Related Concussions in Youth study I referred to in the introduction calls for a change in culture as one of its official recommendations.

1. Suggestion 1: Encourage players to express their feelings. Mimic Men of the House in Pittsburgh. Point to NFL players as models.

2. Suggestion 2: New catchphrases; CDC’s HEADS UP educational materials: “It’s better to miss one game than the whole season.”

Direct quotations are written word for word so Javon states them accurately.

3. Prioritizing value: Education.

B. Benefits:

1. Addresses hypermasculinity.

2. Extends to parents, fans, and community members.

C. Drawbacks:

1. Possible? Change the game beyond recognition?

2. Time.

* (Transition) [LOUDER] Having looked at a second solution, I will move to the third and final solution.

Signposting language in transitions is bolded to help orient Javon during delivery.

V. Third solution: Better, more consistent medical care.

A. Argues that increased access likely to result in higher reporting.

1. Sample action 1: Advocate for better medical care with school boards and community partners.

2. Sample action 2: Require football programs to fund a certified athletic trainer.

3. Prioritizing value: Safety.

B. Benefits:

1. Ensures good medical care; takes some burden off coaches. In a February 8, 2019, report for InvestigateWest, Lee van der Voo reported that a study of Oregon high schools discovered that high schools with athletic trainers were much more likely to diagnose concussions in high school football players.

2. Fairer. Would end a two-tiered system of care.

C. Drawbacks:

1. Cost.

2. Medical personnel being pressured to not report. [SLOW] A 2019 survey of college and university athletic trainers by the National Athletic Trainers Association found that 10% reported being pressured “to make a decision that was not in the best interest of a student athlete’s health.”

Javon knows he tends to say this citation too quickly, so he leaves a note to slow down here.

* (Transition) Now that we examined a third solution, I will conclude.

VI. Conclusion

A. (Thesis) [LOUD] Brian Ramos’s injury was the final straw. We had to do something. But how can we best address concussions in high school football? This has been my focus question.

The thesis is written fully out again.

B. The first solution: Divert resources. The second solution: Change the culture of football. The third solution: Advocate for better-trained medical care to support coaches.

C. Each has advantages and disadvantages.

[PAUSE] What do you think is the best way for Columbus to address our shared concern for our football players?

Javon concludes by turning his guiding question over to the audience for a deliberative discussion.